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    When God says no

    You know the expression, “want to know how to make God laugh… make a plan”, well that’s what I did. I planned on God answering my prayer favorably and didn’t even consider the alternative. So when His answer to my prayer was a no, I freaked out. After a lot of tears, confusion, and processing, I’m seeing things a little clearer. (Just enough to write down a few things that I am learning). So here it is. This past season has been hard. Hard on my marriage, my relationships and most of all…my faith. During the last 7 months, my heart has been in a tug-of-war between doubt and trust, truth and…

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    For Mother’s Day, Josh set up a fun photo shoot for me complete with floral crowns and crisp morning light. He sure knows the way to my heart! He is insanely talented at taking photos (as well as a million other things)! Josh planned this a while back and kind of sprung it on me 3 days before! I was so excited but also a little frantic because I didn’t have anything to wear for me or Selah! I spent the 2 days prior, running around town trying to find dresses for us and it was not super fun going store to store trying on dresses in cramped fitting rooms with my…

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    Random thoughts on motherhood

    This time last year, I was dreaming what it was going to be like to be a mother. (I wrote a blog about it here). I wondered what my life would look like with a tiny human in it and how life-altering it would be. I was extremely nervous but also super excited. I would scroll through my Instagram explore page, clicking on any photo of a baby and reading through other women’s accounts of motherhood. What would my experience of being a mother be like? Would I buckle under pressure? Would I be any good at it? Would I bond with my child? Would I be a nervous nelly mama…

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    To be known…

    That is the struggle, right? We all just want to be known. We want people to see us a certain way, to see the good things we’ve done, our beauty, our skills, our thoughts, opinions and values. We have a deep seeded desire to be seen and valued for who we are. We want to know that we are not overlooked or scrolled over. So we post things on social media through photos, videos, vlogs and blogs. We put our best face forward and seek approval while swimming through the muddy waters of comparison. We like to think that people are somehow impressed by us; that we are special or…

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    Selah’s first time at Disneyland!

    We were recently blessed with a Disney day we will not soon forget! Josh and I got invited to go to Club 33 with our dear friends and couldn’t pass up the opportunity! It was an incredible time and so special to experience with our favorite little princess! She will not remember a dang thing, but I will treasure these photos forever! Thank you to everyone who made this special day happen!

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    Learning to Love

      I remember taking Selah to church at 3 weeks old and someone stopping me saying, “Isn’t it crazy the amount of love you feel for your child” and another, “I bet you never knew you could love something so much” and yet another, “The moment you saw your child, did your heart just explode with love?” and all I could do was nod my head up and down. The truth is…I didn’t feel that kind of love. I wish I did. I thought I would. Worry had invaded so much of my heart, there was no room for love. Anxiety was my main state of mind. I remember walking…

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    Birth Story

    Birth Story The birth of my firstborn was less than ideal. In fact, it was down right traumatizing. It’s taken me until now (4.5 months after) to feel ok about writing it down because until now, when I would talk about how she was born, I would get extreme anxiety. Through talking about it with many other moms and giving it to the Lord, I feel like I’ve some what worked through it. So…here’s how it happened: Josh and I had been specifically praying for over a month that the Lord would let us know when to go to the hospital by way of my water breaking because I didn’t…

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    Memorial Day 2016

    Memorial Day 2016 was one for the books. Call it a daycation, a babymoon,a getaway…whatever it was…it was a total blessing for us to spend quality time with each other in a beautiful place! Before the weekend began, Josh told me he wanted to do something fun with me on Memorial day because he had it off, and now that I only work online, I was free as well! We had talked about Lake Arrowhead, because that is one of our faves, but we hadn’t discussed it much until Sunday evening. We decided that the traffic going up the mountain wouldn’t be worth it and were spouting off ideas of…

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    Approaching Motherhood

    The reality of a mini human depending on me and knowing me as, “mama” has not fully hit me yet. Most of the time when I think about it, I’m completely overwhelmed with excitement at the thought of having another person in Josh and I’s little family, but other times I am crushed with the weightiness of unworthiness. I mean, this little babe will be totally dependent on ME. Who am I to know what’s best for my little girl? Who am I to be entrusted with such precious and new life? It’s not like she can trade me in for another momma if I fail…she’s stuck with me! I…

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    Roberts Family Vacay 2015: Ojai

    Someone once said, “family time is like a fine wine, it gets better with age and the more you have of it, the more fun you have”….just kidding, that someone was me…just now. But it’s true! The more time that I spend with my quirky little family, the better it gets and the fun just goes on and on! It’s ironic,  when I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and start my own life somewhere far far away from Nipomo. Now, I find myself longing to go back! I dream about popping on over to my parent’s or sister’s house to have dinner, watch…